so a catholic walks into a deli....it's a bread joke, it totally works!

So today...inspired by an issue of Cooks Magazine (I was eyeballing my Cooks collection all last night) I decided to bake bread.  Yes, you heard it..... bake bread.  And yes, I know I can get in my car and probably have a crusty loaf in my hot little hands in under 10 minutes, but the recipe seemed SO EASY...why not try right?

Don't get me wrong.  I've tried to make bread MANY MANY times, always ending with a heavy loaf of something that resembled bread, but was unpleasant.  Too heavy, too tasteless or with a terrible soggy crust or hard as a stone throughout.  Bread isn't easy....or so i thought until today.

The hardest part about this recipe is that it takes an entire day.  You can't decide you want bread for dinner at 5pm, you make this in the morning and THEN its ready at dinner.

Here are the steps...AMAZING is all I have to say.

To start with, I was impressed that this bread only has 6 ingredients.
DRY
3 cups flour
1.5 teaspoon salt
.25 teaspoon rapid yeast
WET
7 oz water
3 oz lite pilsner beer
1 T. vinegar

First off, in a big bowl combine the dry ingredients.  Then make a well and add the wet stuff.  Use a spatula to mix.  Start by scraping down the dry sides into the liquid.  Continue until all the dry is now combined and you have a ball that looks sorta like play-do.

I would have photographed at this step was I not so sure this was to be a complete FAIL.....sorry....oh ye of little faith.

So put some plasic wrap over your big bowl and let that dough rest 8 to 18 hours on your counter.  YES!  I SAID IT....8 to 18 hours....thats a long time...i know...

I chose 8.  Next put the dough on a floured surface and knead 15 times or so.  I don't need to explain how to knead, do I?  I hope not....ok...just flatten in out with the palm of your hand, then fold the shape in half...that counts a ONE KNEAD.....then flatten out, and fold....TWO KNEADS....and so on. 
Place a piece of parchement paper in a saute pan and spray it with cooking spray.  Place your kneaded ball seam side down in the pan and let rest ANOTHER TWO HOURS....I know...it seems extreme...its worth it. 

Now when its coming to the end of the second hour....put your Dutch oven (or French oven) or whatever big pot you make chili in that has a lid.....into the oven THEN turn it up to 500.   When the dough is done rising and the oven temp is 500, place the parchment paper of dough into the (very hot handly with care) French oven ---and you can let the sides hang out.  Cut a slit in the top of the dough, put the lid on the pot.  Close oven door and bake 35 minutes....oh yes...i forgot....a lot of heat slipped out when you had the oven door open.  Turn the temp down to 425.

I used an oven themometer because I have one....but after 35 minutes I could tell the bread just needed a tiny more crisping.  Remove the lid and cook for 10 minutes or so. You want the internal temp to be 210......

Then carefully remove the bread from that pot (its damn hot).....and try to wait until dinner to eat.....For real....its good.


And full disclosure on the title of this post...the joke or pondering, or quote by Milton Berle...
"every time a guy walks into a deli and orders a pastrami on white, somewhere a Jew dies."