Even though it has been established that we despise each other in the kitchen, Kris's amazing, fabulous, gorgeous & brilliant daughter is off to college on Thursday..(cutting the cord may require power tools!) So im sending her this High Protein Winky Dinky Avocado Man (he was once my lunch) to keep her cheery! I'll give you two days w no writing but that's it....and while you mourn, I'm leading a coup (you pronounce that coo idiot) for Team Sharon.
4 comments:
Yes, I am having a hard time cutting the cord, why wouldn't I? My daughter IS amazing, fabulous, gorgeous & brilliant and...AND she's the only one who helps me in the house(see Toffee post). It's just such an odd feeling, packing her all up knowing she'll be five hours south. What happens if she gets the flu? She's a total barfer...HUGE... I'm talking Linda Blair violent gusts of vomit vomiter. What happens if she gets poked in the eye? Punctures an eardrum, ruptures a spleen? What if she oversleeps? Her roommate gets the plague, her computer gets stolen? What's not to worry about? I'm thinking, though, that I've never really tested the elasticty of the cord...Perhaps it's like a small intestine and can stretch though 300 miles of cornfields, through a McDonald's drive-thru and around a Dairy Queen straight through to the third floor of Governor's Hall (I prefer to pronounce it Guv-nahs-very southern). And why do I have to cut the cord? Why does the cord have to be cut? She can still fly whilst tethered. So it's settled...there are no cords being cut. And really, Sharon, Avocado Man is supposed to make me cheery? "Kris, I'm sorry you're going through this difficult, emotional, transitional stage in your life with your first born, here's an avocado and a half-eaten sandwich. Now there, don't you feel better?" NO. I do not. If you really wanted to make me feel better, you'd buy me a Canon Ti2 , a pair of Frye boots and make me a size 10. You better learn something at your boxing lessons because I intend to punch (that's pronounced punch, you idiot) right in your grey veneers as I feel two days off to mourn is not enough. I'm taking the weekend. Now leave me be, I'm enjoying a Fresca.
Kris- here's the cheeriest thing I can think of to tell you- during your many upcoming drives to southern Indiana, you can stop in Bloomington and visit ME! That ought to make you slap-dingle happy! And, if I can talk you into living with (and of course cooking for) me, you'll be but a mere hour or so from aforementioned firstborn!
Oh Kris,
Good lord - your comment is extremely long...it made Ms. Jamie Furr feel bad(badly?) for you. Skip both the McDonalds & the DQ on your way to Guv-nahs Hall, your thighs need a break and i'm Googling recipes for the Crunch Cone Crunch...you'll need to stay hungry. It will be delicious, something Tom and the other child (the one stuck at home with you) will love.
Jamie you are awesome. A true friend with nice teeth. And I do plan to visit/live with you because 1. You are awesome and 2. You use words like slap hyphen dingle and aforementioned. And yes, Sharon, I realize that my thighs do not need McDonalds or DQ, but then I thought, you're an idiot, so it's totally okay. Although, I'll take back the idiot comment if you can reproduce THE CRUNCH in all capital letters.
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